What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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