i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
