i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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