you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
