I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
