i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
