guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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