Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Randomize
