Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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