Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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