im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
The uberlube is also flammable
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
