can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
