Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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