i may or may not be watching the land before time
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
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