the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
You smell like a Billy Joel song
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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