So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
