dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
