Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
