I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Panties = found
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
