I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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