What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
