there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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