then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
