Duck Duck Cougar?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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