I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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