She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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