return my video game
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I love you. Go after that dick
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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