This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
