Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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