forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
