Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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