i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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