Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
