don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
We have started to decorate penises.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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