Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Your cock deserves a montage
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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