I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
