talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Randomize
