I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
