YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
