How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
