I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
