There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
