I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
