I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
