you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
