There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Floor bacon is actually really good
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
