If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Randomize
