It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
it glows. i had to have it.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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