So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
