just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
