Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
