At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize