I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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