it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize