I need help removing her.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
