thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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