I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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