Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
