just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
