Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Randomize
