note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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