I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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